The Snow Princess
by highasclaret
Summary: "The President does have a granddaughter"... insight into who she might be and how the Snow household could be its own kind of Hunger Games - better Summary within. Rating for eventual lemons xxx
1. Sweet 16

OK, so I only recently read the Hunger Games trilogy and became slightly obsessed by it. Well, I actually listened to the audio books which I enjoyed so much that I ended up having about 3 hours sleep each night for the last two weeks - not something that I recommend...

Anyway, I was intrigued by the idea that President Snow had a family and started thinking about the Granddaughter that Johanna mentioned in Mockingjay. I don't know why but I naturally leaned towards the notion there was more of a 'Snow Dynasty', rather than just one child and one grandchild. And from there I just enjoyed wondering how it was made up, why it was made that way, what influence he would have and how/why Johanna would mention the grandaughter above all other relations.

This story takes place 2 years before Mockingjay, therefore the year of the 73rd Annual Hunger Games, though I don't plan on featuring any action from the games in this story - but honestly I'm not sure where it will lead.

For the moment this is the story of how the President's oppressive and domineering nature influences his family, specifically his Granddaughter.

Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think

xxx

* * *

A Snow family tree:

() = age at time of this story

**President Corialanus Snow** Married **Illidia Vana** and had **Apollus**,** Clodia**,** Pericus **and** Cornelia**

**Apollus Snow** (43) married **Neona Kernow** and had two girls** Orione** (16) and **Evanessa** (10). She also had two sons who were still born - **Crixus and Aganom**

**Clodia Snow** (42) married **Emerard Vana** and had triplet boys **Jesran,** **Kanner** and** Isolder** (15) and a girl **Antonia** (11)

**Pericus Snow** (40) married **Hesper Delacey** and had twin boys **Connell **and** Cree** (14.5). Hesper died in child birth along with the twins she was carrying, a girl, **Aster**, and a boy, **Hestan **(5)

**Cornelia** (19) is not yet married and does not have any children.

* * *

I woke up to the soothing chimes of my alarm. I stretched and wanted no more than to snuggle back down into the softness of my duvet and pillows and go back to sleep. Maybe today I'd be allowed to.

I realised that wouldn't happen when I felt the weight of someone sitting on the side of my bed. I sighed and opened my eyes to find my mother sitting looking down on me. I couldn't remember the last time she had been here when I woke up, or even been in my rooms so she looked very out of place.

"Mother?" I croaked in an early morning voice. In response to the sound one of my avoxes brought me a glass of water. I sat up and drank it all down and handed it back to Mairin with a mouthed 'thank you'. She nodded and then left, I wanted her to stay but knew it would not do.

"Happy birthday little Reena" my mother said with a smile, though the only feeling that sounded in her voice was a sad one. She hadn't called me Reena in possibly 8 or 9 years. Perhaps now I was 16 she was finally saying goodbye to her little girl, thus the sadness. She produced a small lavender coloured box and held it out for me.

"A gift?" I asked, taking it and finding it was heavier than I thought it would be

"A birthday present" she said as I opened it.

The box contained a lavishly decorated hair comb. From the weight I realised it must be platinum and the huge blue, purple and clear stones were indeed extremely precious. It was shockingly extravagant. "Its beautiful, thank you." I didn't know what else to say so I kept looking at the comb, turning it over and over again in my hand.

"It was given to me when I was first presented."

I went cold and looked up at her, her face showing only the hint of sadness she undoubtedly felt, but that was my mother's way. She wore masks very well; when she smiled for the cameras her beauty hid the insincerity, when she was with the family she held her face as it was now, still beautiful but unreadable. I had inherited the same skills. But her face now told me quite enough.

"I am to be presented? Today?" She nodded in response "And you couldn't tell me sooner?"

"I was not told, so could not tell you."

I knew that being presented was quite a traditional notion in the Capitol but I had only seen the preparation for my Aunt Cornelia's a few years ago. It had been large, and loud and lasted until early into the next morning. It was also extremely public and had cameras everywhere. Sharing my mother's demeaner meant that I did not like the cameras, did not like the interviews and did not like the hoards of people that would undoubtedly be there. I wanted her to be wrong but looking at her I had to believe her. However big the event was it was unlikely that we would have been told about it; it would only give us more time to worry about it.

I took a deep breath to calm myself, "When will Gretto arrive to greet me? Or is he already waiting outside?" I smiled at our shared joke. Gretto was a little rodent of a man who was the President's Personal Arranger. The President's schedule, appearances etc were all arranged by Gretto, so if this was going to be as big an event as I feared it would be, Gretto would be briefing me.

"Gretto has made all the arrangements of course and will be along later." She stood and held out her hand to me "come have breakfast with me before the madness begins." She smiled one of her rare sincere smiles and I saw a glimpse of the stunning woman she used to be, and could not resist her hand or invitation.

* * *

I usually enjoyed breakfast with the family. It was hardly ever televised, so we could be as relaxed as each of us could be, and it was usually too early for any one of them to fully put on their scheming and cinisism for the day. My mother knew this and so always tried to spend the time with me, where the rest of her day was occupied with her work, my Father or my younger sister Evanessa. It would only be 40 minutes at the most, but I greatly appreciated it.

The rest of my day would be rather solitary. This was not out of choice, though I'm not sure how long I could stand to spend with my obnoxious triplet cousins. I knew I was kept away from them throughout the day due to an unfortunate accident of my birth. It wasn't my fault but my Father and Grandfather did seem to blame me for it.

I was meant to have been a boy.

Of course I was supposed to be a boy; the first born son of the first born son would have fit very nicely into the perfect family shown on the propos for all of Panam to see. It was always the plan that my Father take my Grandfather's place, and his son would do the same after him. But not since I was born. My parents tried to have boys, but unsuccessfully. Only two missed pregnancies were publisised, but I knew there had been more. The next in line was now my cousin Jesran, and my Aunt Clodia would have more influence on him than my father ever would. Thus both my Grandfather and Father were very put out by my birth.

Don't get me wrong, my family were fully aware that the President was an elected role, but we were also all very much aware that that did not really matter. Influence could be curried, favour could be won. I knew this from a very early age, and not just through the high officials that were wined and dined at the mansion. The very behaviour of my family towards me taught me that influence and favour are worth far more than birthright or money. What was the point in pretending to like me when the most important member of our family, the President, treated me as a dissapointment?

It was so ironic it almost made me laugh. On television my family was practically perfect, it would never do to be otherwise. And so I laugh and smile and talk to my aunts and uncles, my younger cousins and sister. I must appear to be the perfect older sister to all of them. And in turn they must appear respectful and loving to me, something I know that Jesran particularly dislikes. The Capitol, the districts, the whole of Panam must not know that the oldest granddaughter was an outcast in her own home, which by the way was filled with spiteful, obnoxious and spoilt individuals that could make eachother miserable, and often did.

But breakfast, I think, was a no man's land for all of us. Sometimes my cousin's and I even laughed together. So I went to breakfast with my mother expecting little except a calm atmosphere where I could spend time with the family who would hardly acknowledge me at dinner.

We entered the breakfast room, an informal dining room just off of the kitchen to find it empty. An avox directed us to the formal dining room and I could feel my face set to a mask; we never had breakfast there. I let my mother lead me, feeling very unlike my 16 year old self, and so must have appeared rather childish and weak when we entered the room and were greeted by a stoney silence.

But the silence was more imposed by my Grandfather's presence rather than my immature need for reassurance from my mother. My mother recovered from the surprise quicker than I did, giving a quiet "Good morning Corialanus" and taking me to the two chairs left empty, on either side of the President. She let go of my hand and I took my seat, almost cringing at the loud noise my chair made against the the floor as I shuffled it in.

"Neona" he addressed my mother I looked up to see his cold eyes on me, "and Orione. Today is a big day for you."

I glugged down my orange juice "Yes Grandfather."

"Do you know why?"

My heart stopped, and everyone in the room waited for my response. I was going to say 'because its my birthday', but that would be a selfsh thing to say, and it would mean that he was thinking of me. He would surely be thinking about himself or the family as a whole so it would be a completley different reason why it would be a big day

"I am being presesented today."

"Yes" he drew the word out and exagerated the 's', sounding like a patronising serpent. I was relieved I had gotten the right answer but then I felt almost angry that I was happy. It made me sit up straighter in my chair. My Grandfather took in the movement with a small smile before taking a drink of a red fruit mixture and checking his holo laying on the table beside him. "Ratings have shown that you are not a popular member of this family" he began, as if discussing a new product for sale "you are distant and inaccessible to your demographic". He glanced up from the holo, the light blue light catching in his pale eyes, making them glow unnaturally "this will change tonight."

"Yes Grandfather" I said, while trying to take in the information he was giving me. Distant and inaccessible? I was part of the most famous and important family in Panam, how could I be distant and inaccessible when I was broadcast on to every television screen in the country?

He slammed his hand on the table, making all around the table jump and bringing my eyes back to his "'Yes Grandfather' is not good enough. You will be charming, and talkative. You will flirt and dance and entertain your guests. It is time you become the granddaughter that everyone expects you to be. Do you understand?" His face was calm apart from his blazing eyes and the fact that he had just finished shouting at me.

"I do" I replied, somehow knowing I should not shrink away or blink or behave like a child and run away like I wanted to. He would accept nothing but adult behaviour from me now.

He held my eyes for a second longer, and then took a few more moments to take in the rest of my face and body that he could see while I was sat at the table before nodding. He downed the rest of his drink and stood from the table with a loud scrape of his chair on the marble floor. "I will see you all this evening" and he left us.

I felt like I wanted to collapse into the bowl of citrus slices in front of me, but I couldn't and so didn't. I took a deep breath, sipped at my orange juice which had been refilled without me realising, sat up straight and began eating my breakfast, slice by slice, like the adult I was expected to be. I heard noises of cutlery and noted that the rest of the table had taken a cue from me and began eating. I looked up at my mother opposite me and she was also helping herself to butter for her toast. She caught me looking and gave me a small smile and nod of reassurance.

A welcome but very small gesture in the grand scheme of things to come this day.

* * *

I left breakfast before anyone else. I would find no enjoyment in my family's company this morning and to be honest I just wanted to get the day started; the sooner it began, the sooner it would end.

I returned to my rooms to find my two avoxes waiting for me; Mairin and Coral. I immediately felt sorry for them as they were unmistakeably worried about my mother's visit and my presentation gift. Mairin stood first and came over to me, taking me in her arms.

"It's ok" I said, soothing her rather than letting her sooth me. In fact I purposefully disengaged myself from her embrace before I really wanted to. But I had to prepare for the evening, for the rest of my life as an adult. He had been quite clear in that. Mairin looked down at me and signed, asking me what had happened.

Both Mairin and Coral were originally from District 4, where their life had revolved around water and the ocean. It was common for the citezens of that District to learn to sign to each other; all the better to communicate under water. It had become a bitter necessity for the two of them when their tongues had been cut and they had become avoxes. Having them serve me for the last 8 years meant that they had taught me their signs, among other things.

"I must become more popular. More likable. More grown up." I said looking at the two of them "Its starts tonight at my presentation and I guess it will continue from there."

They were silent (or rather unmoving) before Coral began signing, asking _More best?_ I guessed that she meant "more popular?" (the sign language didn't have an extensive vocabulary) so replied "I am inaccessible to my demographic". I sounded glum, and I was. I didn't understand how I could change their view of me. I thought I had been doing the best I could, being all smiles and laughs for the camera but apparently they wanted more. He wanted more.

The heated feeling bubbled up inside me again and I had the sudden urge to throw something at someone. I breathed deeply and looked at my avoxes, the closest people to friends I had. "I have to flirt and dance and be entertaining. How do I even do that?"

They looked at eachother, utterly perplexed which was utterly unhelpful. I flopped face down onto my bed, wishing very dearly that I had not gotten out of bed at all, when there was a knock at the door. I sprang up and rearranged my dress and hair, checked the girls were ok (they confirmed with nodds) and answered the door.

My youngest Aunt, Cornelia, stood radiant infont of me.

"May I enter?" she asked, and walked past me without waiting for a reply. I closed the door behind her and watched her take a seat in my small living area. "Coffee" she said in the general direction of Coral and Mairin, who sprang to life at her request. I frowned at the fact that it was not a request, more an order which I thought rude until I remembered that she was not friends with her avoxes, let alone mine. I sat opposite her, mirroring her rod straight back and hands placed just so in her lap. When I had been still for exactly 3 seconds, she moved her eyes away from the view outside of my window and onto me. "This is an exciting day for you and you are not acting like it."

It was almost a threat, her pale blue eyes (exactly the same shade as her father's) bore into me, but her mouth was set into an easy smile.

"I'm still taking it all in" I replied.

The exchange was paused while Coral poured us coffee. When I knew Cornelia was not looking I gave a small nod of thank you, and Coral receded into the background of the room; present but not imposing.

"You are withdrawn and quiet and reserved. That is why you appear inaccessible" she said, taking a precise sip of her coffee and placing it back on the saucer.

"Those are hard traights to change" I said, taking my own sip and finding it rather bitter for my taste. Coral must have made it to how she knew Cornelia liked it.

"Yes. But you will change." This she said more lightheartedly, possibly because the mere fact that it was true was threatening enough.

I looked at her and she at me. There could be no mistaking that we were family; both ash blonde and pale blue eyes. The same cheekbones and lips appeared on pale skin, indicating our shared relation but she was sharper, her nose and chin more angular like her mother. She had a keeness in her eye as well which belied her age. She was only 3 years older than me but I could see her experience, knowledge, cunning, and I knew that I could not fake that in a million years.

The simple fact that I had been isolated, discouraged from interaction, was a disasterous disadvantage in this.

"How do I do it?" I asked quietly, failing to keep the distress out of my voice. I had shrunk so I was leaning over my coffee cup, just looking into it, and did not know she had risen from her seat unitl I saw her feet in front of mine. I looked up and she was smiling down at me. She looked happy that I was dejected. She sat down next to me, took my coffee cup away and replaced it with her own hands. They were exactly like mine. When I looked up she had made her face into a more sympathic one.

"What you have to remember is that everyone wants to be you." She must have seen how perplexing I found that as she continued "you are a Snow. Rich, happy, you get everything you want and more. You are the epitome of a priveledged Capitol life. And tonight you will be presented as such. You will BE as such. Do you understand?"

She was trying to be helpful but all it reminded me of was my Grandfather's short but viciferol speech to me under an hour ago. I sat up and removed my hands from her, placing them just so in my lap and nodded to her. Yes, I understood.

She smiled so it must have been convincing "It will be a party like you have never been to before; even bigger than my own presentation" she gave a short, tinkling laugh and I wondered whether she was bitter at this. I decided to assume that she was "and all eyes will be on you for the duration." I swallowed at that and decided to take note of what she was saying.

She went through how the evening would run, what would happen and when, what would be expected of me in each part. It was boggling, and I wished I had more time to prepare. Yes, I had spent the majority of my life with a television crew present, but this would be different; they would be there for me and me alone. I would not be able to hide behind a supposed shared joke with my sister, or an invented question whispered to my mother. I would be live on screen all night.

When she had finished, or maybe when she saw my panic peek, my Aunt stood "Now, I will leave you. No doubt Gretto is lingering outside" she said with a wink, "I hope I have helped some."

"Yes" I said quickly, standing and walking her to my door, "you have, thank you."

I was just about to open it when she caught my hand "This does not mean you have to lose yourself." For the first time ever, my aunt looked at me with a semblance of concern. Then she blinked and her cool gaze was back on me "Just be a different side of you. A better side" and she walked out of my rooms in a haze of wintery blonde hair, pale blue skirts and the unmistakebale hint of roses in the air

* * *

Gretto entered before I realised he was waiting outside. Today saw him in a pale pink ensemble, with his body art a matching shade. I was going to close the door but others followed him. I was able to close the door after 7 other individuals entered. I don't think I had ever had that many people in my rooms before. They were all chattering amongst themselves until Gretto stuck his holo under his arm and clapped loudly while saying 'come come come come come come" until they were all silent and all attention was on him.

Mairin came up beside me and gave me a nudge. I kept my face still, lest I frown at her and get her into trouble, and moved to the group of brightly coloured individuals.

"Miss Orione, please be seated" Gretto began, gesturing to my small couch opposite the group of strangers. When I sat, he began.

And he didn't stop for two and a half hours. I was dreading a briefing like this but my fear that I would be bored or fall asleep was unfounded; my panic and fear of failure meant I took in every single word he said. Similar to Aunt Cornelia, Gretto went through each stage of the evening, but in a more formal manner, giving me more detail of what I should do and how it would segway into the next part.

He introduced me to the television producer and the two camera men who would be shooting me, preparation and all, starting from directly after this meeting. I kept my face a blank canvas to hide my shock and disappointment that it would begin so quickly. My prep team: the stylist Danica (whose name was actually just a symbol, but the symbol read as Danica) and his team of three assistants. They were extremely dressed in vibrant colours and textures that I hadn't realised could be made into material, let alone clothing. Danica also had extensive enhancements to his bare arms and shoulders; jems and metal of all colours were inlaid into his skin. It looked like he had sleeves made of a magnificent snake and I had the insane urge to touch him to see what it felt like. After the introductions Gretto confirmed that there were going to be the best of the best young people of the Captiol attending to make it a vibrant, exciting and youthful party; the envy of all 16 year olds. I had time to note that that was a good thing, almost exactly what my Grandfather wanted from the evening, and from me, when Gretto handed me a holo. Not only did it contain the guest list (including pictures) but the back catalogue of the band that would be playing, along with the latest recording polls so I could familiarise myself with the music that the DJ would be playing.

"And when does the evening begin?" I asked, scrolling through the holo, seeing the hundreds of guests and the hundreds of songs.

"As I said" Gretto hissed, "you will be presented at 7pm." The assistants giggled at a comment that Danica had whispered but they ceased when they saw Gretto's unimpressed look. "Do you have any other questions?" he asked, obviously exasperated

I thought of the hundreds of questions that were swirling around in my head but stilled as I saw the cameramen raise their equipment and point it at me. I relaxed my body and put on what I hoped was an easy smile and chimed 'No, but I know how to contact you if I do."

He noticed the change in me and made his own adjustments "Of course Miss. I am, as ever, at your call" he made a galant bow and turned so he could be seen on the camera striding confidently out of my room. One camera followed him while the other remained on me, and the producer Orme, not looking up from his holo.

So it would be non stop from now on. Coral caught my eye, smiling, nodding and signing for me to be happy. My only response was the small hand signal for ok, hardly a twitch to anyone who didn't know the sign language.

I turned to Danica with what I hoped was an excited smile on my face, "So what's first?"

* * *

First was the dress. Danica had brought a large rack full of them for me to choose from. I studiously looked at all of them, making what I hoped were relevent and engaging comments for the cameras.

Mairin stood behind the cameramen, in the process of clearing the table of drinks when she caught my eye, placing my mother's gift on the table where the empty glasses had been.

"Danica" I interrupted his soliloquy on a bright yellow creation, but he kept his face pleasant, "I was wondering if you could incorporate this into the outfit?" I clicked my fingers and Mairin picked up the box and brought it to me. Dancia hissed at his assistants who were moving to gather round me. They froze and he alone came to me to see the gift. As I opened the box I told how it was a gift from my mother and that it would be greatly appreciated if it could be included. I had a close up on my face for the short story behind the gift, so he could hardly refuse me, though I think he wanted to.

After striking a thoughtful pose and thinking for a moment, Danica strode to the rack and removed a silver dress with great flourish, "This will be the dress" I smiled and the assistants clapped and oohed and ahred while the cameras zoomed in.

Next was my prep, and thankfully the cameramen left as it involved me stripping. The assistants looked me over with critical eyes, Keeno came in closer and stroked my shin "No waxing required for you Miss. You were prepped before we came?"

"No" I answered honestly, making the blue assistant raise his jewelled eyebrows.

"Then you are naturally beautiful" exclaimed the female assistant with a high sing-song voice and a noticably tight smile.

I looked over to Coral who had remained present incase we needed refreshment. She smiled reassuringly and shook her head; nothing to worry about. She brought over a glass of water which I took, drank and gave back to her. She managed to give me a small sign for me to breathe, in other words relax, and I tried to do just that.

When the assistants had finished, I had a dusting of silver over my skin, my eyes were heavily shadowed in darker hues of purple and blue, to match the comb and emphasise my light eyes, and my hair - well, you couldn't see my actual hair. They had attached an extremly large and heavy wig to me, but it was not the curls piled high as I had seen on my aunts and mother when they had been made up. It was high, giving me at least an extra 3 inches of height, but consisted of straight hair ranging from my natural ash blonde tone to actual strands of silver which reached down to the small of my back. I got the impression it would look like a mane of hair.

The cameras returned along with Danica, to see what his team had done and to make sure the dress fit. His reaction was reassuring, as I saw his relief at my appearance, and we both beamed at each other. He took the my mother's gift and arranged it in the wig so it appeared more as a tiara than a mere comb, which I did very much appreciate.

"And now you can see" he said and steered me to my mirror.

I looked and did not recognise. At all. She was gleaming, and sparkled in the light. She was poised on heels that peeped out of the bottom of a flow of silver running down her body. It looked like it had been poured on her, the material somehow showing meandering streams of light. And the hair, I had not noticed that there were intricate braids throughout, giving it the same amount of subtle texture that the dress had. Surely it was just a coincidence that she moved at exactly the same time as I did?

"She's a Snow Princess" Chimed the female assistant.

She was right, I was a Snow. There was no denying the pale eyes, light hair (even if it wasn't my own on show). I even saw my Aunt Cornelia in the way I stood before the mirror. And in a completely different way I was a snow princess, because with the silver tones, the shine of the material and luminescance of my skin, I could be made of snow and ice.

I beamed as I turned, giving my face to the camera while looking over at Danica and his team, clapping at their amazing effort and graciously thanking them for making me feel beautiful.


	2. Ode to Ganna

Gretto came soon after that to announce that I had interviews to go to as well as a 'gift reception' which needed to be filmed.

They went by in a blur of vapid questions and equally vapid replies, fake smiles over gifts that I did not know the purpose of or the people that had sent them. I had a year's supply of hair dye from a particular brand of cosmetics, 'because the President's granddaughter is worth it'. Clothes and jewels, a car, a boat and the exclusive use of a penthouse suit in a hotel I had actually heard of, which meant it must have been used by the family in some way.

Danica appeared from nowhere at this point and clamped a thick, bejewelled cuff on my wrist. It made feel like I had a restraint on or something, or that my hand would drop off at the weight of the thing. My Aunt Cornelia was there, made up almost as much as I was, but she was in a relatively demure dark green dress which made her waist look as thin as my arm. She came to me though, gave me something else to concentrate on, as well to act as a reminder of what I should be like. From this I feared that I was lagging, and I had so long yet to go!

By the time the interviews had been completed, the latter half having my Aunt with me, and Orme had taken take after take of shots of me looking over my gifts in wonder and humility and excitement and whatever emotion he told me to have, it was 6pm.

With one hour to go until my presentation I found I finally had some time to go through the damn holo with the guest list.

I decided to play the music in the background while I looked through the pictures, but I eventually gave up on the guest list; I could easily remember their names, faces and small profiles, but the burning blue light of the holo was making my eyes sore, so I just listened to the music instead. The band were good, and I listened to a couple of the songs for a second time, learning the melodies and words, and then moved on to the recordings within the polls. They were all upbeat and happy, which began to grate on me. I didn't want music to excite me, I wanted to be calm.

The music, the need for calm, made me remember something I had not thought of for many years.

I had always loved music, but my access, until today, had been restricted to a limited supply of recordings in the library. But it hadn't always been that way. I remembered I was given a grand piano for my 5th birthday. I excelled at my lessons and after 6 months I was performing my own intricate compositions.

The first and only time my Grandfather heard me play he left the room after no longer than a minute and didn't return. The next day my piano was gone.

Only Ganna, my first avox, was able to console me, and only in private so we didn't get each other into trouble. Ganna had been with me from my first memory. She was my first memory: dressing me in yellow when I wanted my blue dress. He moon face scowling down at me and changing between wagging a finger at me and wiping away my angry tears.

She was from 7, so didn't have a handy sign language to communicate with but we learnt to read each other's faces, moods. Sometimes it was a fun game to guess what she was thinking. I remember her being as wide as she was tall, which was a great feet considering she was from the districts.

Having grown up with her there was no one's opinion or admiration I sought more, even my mother.

She had consoled me on this occasion by teaching me that I was my own instrument. Although she could not speak, she hummed a tune that I would easily pick up, and the words were written for me to learn and soon I was giving performances, even if it was only to her.

I only slipped up once and she was gone.

I had a song in my head from the night before and without realising I was humming it to myself. It became obvious that the sing was well known when I heard heavy footsteps behind me making me freeze as I knew it was my Grandfather.

"Was that you?" he asked, angry, leaning over me so much that I thought his anger could hide sun. I nodded once and he hit me so hard my lip split and I was knocked unconscious against the hard marble floor.

I woke up in my rooms with two new avoxes, Mairin and Coral. I never saw Ganna again.

I came back to the present with a start. How long had it been since I had thought of her? Too long. My older self, my adult self knew that she had been killed, or had been put somewhere where she may as well be dead. My older self also understood the significance of the lyrics of the song. It was an old rebellion song. No wonder my Grandfather had reacted in such a way. But at the time it was just a song to sing for Ganna, to make her smile.

"Ha" I laughed out loud to myself. Of course it made her smile, the granddaughter of the President singing a rebel song. But this recognition of the truth after so long did not change my view of her or make me think any less of her. It was a very Ganna thing to do. She often made faces behind my father's or my cousins backs to show she didn't like them. She would give me a treat when we were alone in my rooms. I knew at an early age that these little things were not good, it was not the right way for her to act but it made me love her more. She had been with me when my mother could not be, had raised and praised me, and told me off when I was being spoilt or mean. The song just reminded me of her rebellious spirit that, even as an avox, was very much alive.

I felt very sad that I had not thought of her more, guilty that she had almost been forgotten.

I turned the music on the holo up loud but did not listen to it. Instead I hummed Ganna's song to myself very quietly, in a small tribute to her. She was as much my mother as my biological mother was, as Mairin and Coral had become, and it was quite right that I should think of her on my presentation day.

She would have nothing to do with the facade that would be presented to Panam in less than an hour, but she was pivotal to the girl underneath all of this makeup and hair.


	3. The Formal Event

The closer I walked down the hall to the ballroom, the more my heart seemed to beat in my throat. I was surprised I had not choked by the time I was stopped in front of the imposing wooden doors. Now I could hear the music and the rumble of many voices, my pulse increased and I worried that I felt so hot when my arms, back and alot of my chest was exposed to the air.

Danica and his assistants fluttered around me; each of them stepping close to me to make an adjustment, then sweeping away to take assess me again. It made me feel like a flower being gently drained dry by hummingbirds. There were avoxes but they were all men, and dressed the formal event. My formal event. I wanted nothing more than to see Mairin and Coral. They would be able to calm me down. But even if they were here, where would they fit? I was surrounded by a prep team, a Personal Arranger babbling on about where to stop and smile, what to say and then the camera crew moving around me, capturing everything. There was no room for anything else.

Overwhelmed didn't cover it.

Then a space appeared, a gap in the wall of bodies around me, but it was filled with my Aunt Cornelia and not one of my friends

"Enough buzzing!" She said loudly, with just the edge of sharpness to her voice which made the gaggle around me step away. When the cameras remained she turned on them "go take your positions in the hall". They looked at each other before retreating away from us. It felt strange to suddenly have space around me but I still felt constricted. Aunt Cornelia took my hands in hers and leant down to speak to me "You remember what you must do? What you must be?"

I looked back at her, the heat in me changing, morphing and aiming towards her as acute anger. Did she think I didn't know how important this was; how important it was not to disappoint him? It had been drummed into me my entire life. Did she really think I needed reminding now, standing as I was, primped and preened beyond recognition, made into something completely different than myself?

Cornelia dug her nails into my palm, making me flinch and forget my anger for a second. Her pale eyes looked out from heavy green eye makeup and lashes so thick I had a flash of insane curiosity; how could she even keep her lids open? But her cool, cold eyes brought me back to a reality where I could neither panic nor lash out. It would not do. My raging mood swings were replaced by the cold and logical truth that I had to do this and do this well.

"I must be charming and talkative and flirt and dance and entertain" I said back to her.

She smiled at my memory "And so you will be" she straightened up and brushed some silvery hair over my shoulder "It doesn't matter if you forget what to say or do, as long as you are those things" a spluttering sound from Gretto made me think he disagreed but she continued as if she hadn't heard him "But that does not mean that you can be complacent. You're a Snow. The first Grandchild to be presented. Do not disappoint him"

i gave a small nod in response.

"There you go" she said smiling thinly before saying a quiet 'oh' and producing a perfect white rose, beautifully in-between bud and bloom. She looked me up and down before deciding that it should be tucked in my hair. "There, now you really are a Snow. I will see you on the other side" and she left.

Danica replaced her presence almost immediately, looking into my hair with a frown.

"Take it out" I said flatly. The smell was potent, and the thought of it clinging to me all night made me feel sick. Gretto tried to intercede but I wouldn't let him. "Take it out" I repeated, looking hard in to Danica's eyes. He looked at the floor and then back at me before removing the flower and taking a moment to fix the hair again.

Gretto must have recovered from whatever he was about to say as he had his cheery demeanour again "Are we all ready then?"

Without waiting for a reply he moved me to directly in front of the large double doors. I could still hear the music and people inside but they seemed to have quietened down.

I looked at my prep team, who were all beaming but did seem anxious as well. Danica stood with his arms crossed, still appraising me until the bitter end. He gave off a cool and self-assured demeanour until I noted that his little finger was making fast circles on one the scales on his arm, so maybe even he was nervous. What for I have no idea, it's not like any of them have to be presented to a crowd of almost 300 people.

I had just begun to think what Mairin and Coral would say to me to make me feel better when the doors were pulled open in front of me and I was revealed to a multicoloured sea of faces.

* * *

The cheers and claps were deafening, but I felt I remained composed. In my mind the crowd were a lot more unruly than they appeared now. They cheered, but politely. I walked into the room just enough for the doors to be closed behind me and descended the steps at a measured speed, lifting my dress to ensure I didn't fall base over apex. Half way down the steps split, continuing down either side of a platform where, on normal occasions, guest could look down on dancing couples. Today it served as a stage for the formalities of the evening. My family waited for me to one side and at the lecturn, centre stage, stood my Grandfather.

The happiness he attempted to portray seemed twisted on his face, at least to me it did. I noted his cheekbones seemed more pronounced and his lips fuller and knew he had undergone some last minute enhancements especially for the occassion. I swallowed with relief that I had not be made to have any. I tried to keep my smile in place as I descended the last step and walked to take my place beside him. He bent down to kiss each of my cheeks, whispering (so the cameras could see and hear him) 'you are a vision', before addressing the guests assembled below us. Even without my rose, the one planted in his lapel filled my nostrils with the sickly sweet scent. I was thankful of the silver sparkle on my skin as it would hopefully hide how I had turned pale with a mixture of fear and repulsion at my Grandfather's closeness. He had never shown me such affection before but I knew it was so we could appear normal, acceptable, accessible.

I looked at my family and they were all the same as their patriarch; his smile appeared on all of them, even Uncle Pericus who still mourned his dead wife was there with an impeccable suit and a happy expression. My cousins were dashing, darling and adorable, depending on their ages. Antonia and my sister Evanessa could be twins they looked so alike; their eyes and hair exactly the same and with their excited little faces. Evanessa waved at me and gave a beautiful laugh. I actually heard people in the crowd below us sigh at the sight of it. All of them were so committed to this mirage that it was hard to believe they could be anything but happy all of the time. And that is what I had to do?

My Grandfather took my hand, holding it tightly and I knew it was because he didn't want me to pull it away from him. He gave a relatively short speech about what a gift I was, my achievements (which were fabricated apart from his note on my musical abilities - not that I had been allowed to persue them). He ended by saying he was proud to present such an accomplished, intelligent and promising young lady to the Captiol, ney, all of Panam but to him (and he turned to me at this point, looking down at me with what he felt must be grandfatherly love), I will always be his little girl. His little Reena.

The crowd clapped and cheered, my Grandfather pulled my hand, still encased in his, to his lips and kissed it. I knew I wore my smiling mask as it was almost a safety blanket for when I was in his presence but apparently that was not good enough. My Grandfather scratched the inside of my hand and I almost shrieked at the shock of it. His eyes could have turned me into ice, a living glacier, but I managed to recover. I had no other choice. My instinct was to run but I had to be a different me, a better me and better granddaughter. I decided to act in the complete opposite of what I wanted to do, and I flung myself at my Grandfather.

I am sure I took him by surprise as he stumbled back a step. I heard the crowd below gasp at the action - even they didn't expect such a show of emotion - and then begin to clap. After the clapping began my grandfather wrapped his arms around me and held me there, standing stock still and obviously uncomfortable, or perhaps maybe just unaccustomed to the contact. The smell was sickening; floral and sweet and wholly unnatural. I'm not sure I could stand to smell another rose in my entire life and I would get rid of them where ever I was able to.

He pulled my shoulders away from his body, ending the embrace. I imagine he smiled down at me but I was looking down at the floor, using the mass of hair to hide my face from everyone, every camera, lest they see the revulsion on my face. The few precious seconds I had I savoured and used to recover, to replace the mask. Once I took a deep breath of clean air I straightened up and looked down at the crowd. The claps became louder for a moment but quietened down again at my Grandfather's small gesture for quiet.

Now it was my turn to speak and I did not remember anything that Gretto had told me. if he had put something on the holo then maybe I would remember what the words looked like to repeat. But he hadn't, so I couldn't.

I stepped up towards the lectern and looked down over all of the upturned faces. I couldn't focus and any single one of them as there were so many, and that was probably a good thing.

"I'm sorry," I said in a quiet, breathy voice, my throat feeling very dry, "Its all a bit overwhelming." I gave a nervous laugh but there was a ripple of sympathetic laughter from below me. Suddenly, light blue flickered in front of me and I sighed with relief. A holo, with words! Of course a speech would be written for me; as if I would be allowed to say what I wanted. I have to admit that in that moment I was especially happy to not to have to think for myself. I took a calming breath and began to read.


End file.
